When Harry Met Scooby
by teenie13
Summary: The story is not as bad as the title.... Take a spoonfull of Harry Potter & Co, add a missing stone, a detective team and a pinch of laughs, and what do you get? A HPScooby Doo crossover compiled and told by the General You'll see who he is Read on...
1. Chapter 1

**Good Evening everyone, and welcome to The Very Pointless and Hopefully Humorous Stories of Harry Potter. And, here's your host the retired Army General ...General Store.**

**General Store: Good Evening. Today, we have a special lined up for you with our usual Harry Potter characters and the famous animated teen-detectives, Mystery Inc. - TOGETHER! So, let's start the introductions...**

First, our guests,

Scooby Doo - The ever-hungry talking dog who loves saying his own name at the end of every Scooby-Doo episode.

Shaggy Rogers - You ask why is he called 'Shaggy'? Well, have you ever seen the way he walks? By the way, his real name is Norville. (Ew!)

Fred Jones - The handsome and talented guy whose favorite line is 'Let's split up, Gang!'

Velma Dinkley - The not-so-good-looking, but brainy girl who is obsessed with the word 'Jinkeys!' Not that it's a real word.

Daphne Blake - The not-so-bright redhead. It is suspected that her red hair is fake because she is such a blonde.

And our usual stars,

Harry Potter - The boy-who-lived who is always being paired up with Mary Sues in fanfics.

Ron Weasley - One of Harry's two best friends who has just TOO MANY brothers.

Hermione Granger - Harry's other best friend who probably swallowed an encyclopedia in her early years.

Ginny Weasley - Ron's little sister who was once possessed by Lord Voldemort and made to do 'undesirable tasks'. Not what you're thinking, you perverts.

Luna Lovegood - Ginny's friend who should be known as the 'Mistress of All Things Weird'.

Draco Malfoy - Initially he was the bad guy but now, he's friendly with Harry and Co.

Lord Voldemort - A wizard who is so power-hungry that he spent a LOT of time in another man's body just to achieve his ends. This is not what it sounds like, perverts. But today, we see a nutty side of him. I'm not giving away anything

Lucius Malfoy - Draco's father and a death-eater who kisses up to Voldemort so much that now, he is in a dire need of Chap Stick.

Fred and George Weasley - They are twins and also, Ron and Ginny's brothers who are always mentioned in the same order. (Ever read them being mentioned as George and Fred?)

**Now, onto today's Very Pointless and Hopefully Humorous Story of Harry Potter...**

**Scene 1: The Burrow. Ginny is reading the Daily Prophet. Hermione is showing Harry, Ron, Luna, Malfoy, Fred and George a T.V. She switches it on and the room is filled with the sound of Scooby Dooby Doo, Where are you?...**

Luna: Hey, I used to see this cartoon when I was at Melissa's house in the holidays. (A/N: Melissa is her muggle-born friend.) These kids and the dog are actual people are a renowned detective team in the USA.

Ron: Yeah, right! Just like the Crumple-Horned Snorkacks.

George: Prove that they are real people and I'll undergo a gender-change!

Luna: Alright. But don't blame me when you are called Georgina.

Ginny: leaving the paper Look, guys. There is an article about that Muggle dig going on at about half a mile from our house. According to the Muggle archeologists -

Ron: Arkiwhatsits?

Hermione: Archeologists, Ron. They are people who learn about the past by unearthing and studying objects that have survived from former times.

Ron: I knew that.

Hermione: Sure you did, Ronald.

Ginny: Well, they're saying it's missing. The Ministry suspects a wizard has stolen it.

Harry: Why should a wizard be interested in an ancient stone?

Ginny: Well, rumour has it that this stone displays the properties of the Sorcerer's Stone. That's enough reason for any wizard to steal it.

Luna: Especially a certain red-eyed wizard who is obsessed with ruling the world.

Ron: You mean you-know-who?

Hermione: No, she meant Colin Creevey. Of course she meant Voldemort. Everyone shudders

Fred: OK, so Ginny, what measures are being taken now?

Ginny: after reading some more They are hiring some American detective agency called Mystery Inc.

Malfoy: Mystery Inc.? You mean the four teens and dog we saw on TV?

Luna: Yes! I told you they were real. Now, what were you saying about your gender-change, George?

Ron: Yeah. Enough proof for you, George? Or should I now say 'Georgina'?

Fred: Ron, stop teasing my twin sister. Aaaaaaarghh! Gets hit by the TV remote thrown by George No offence meant, Georgina!

Ginny: Hey, there's more, the Ministry will not allow anyone to go in and out of the village.

Ron: I hope they let Anne in, though.

Malfoy: Who's Anne?

Ginny: She's our cousin. She'll be coming here tomorrow morning.

Hermione: Say, how about going to the dig tomorrow. Maybe we'll get to see Mystery Inc.

Ron: Yeah, and since the dig is quite near the village entrance, we can make sure they let Anne in.

Fred: That's using the Ol' Noodle, Ronniekins.

Malfoy: Funny, I never knew Ronniekins possessed the Ol' Noodle.

**Scene 2: The Living Room of the Burrow. Everyone is standing waiting for Luna.**

Ginny: Luna, will you come down? We are ready to go.

Luna: Just a minute, Gin. I just want to make sure that there are no Humped Snittles under our beds. I don't want a month of bad luck, you know.

Hermione: to Ginny This girl needs a visit to St. Mungo's.

Luna: arriving Let's go, people...


	2. Chapter 2

**Scene 3: The archeological site. Some people are rushing about, others are standing near the village entrance as if on guard. There are a few caravans parked on one side of the gate.**

Hermione: So, this is the site of the famous dig? Oh, what a rush they all are in.

Ron: I'm going to see who those people are. Points to the people who are rushing and guarding and, then starts off towards them

Fred: And, I'm going to see if Anne will be allowed inside.

George: I'll come with you.

Fred: Sure, sis! Starts moving towards the village gate

George: Aaaaaaarrghh! Follows Fred

Harry: You think Voldemort - don't wince- okay, you think You-Know-Who actually must have taken the Stone?

Hermione: He is the only wizard I know about, who is so power-hungry that he spent a lot of time in another man's body just to rule the world.

Ron: coming back Those people are Aurors.

Malfoy: What were you expecting, Ronniekins? House-elves?

Ron: ignoring Malfoy's comment Come on, let's go check upon Fred and Georgina.

Everyone starts walking towards the Entrance

**Scene 4: The village entrance.**

Ginny: I can't see Fred and George anywhere. Let's go in different directions from here.

Malfoy: Okay. Potter, you go with Weasley. Granger and Lovegood go together and I go with Ginny.

Ron: No. Hermione can go with Ginny and you go with Luna.

Malfoy: I rather go alone.

Luna: Suit yourself, Drakiekins.

**Scene 5: Malfoy is walking alone towards the caravans parked on the left of the Village Entrance.**

Malfoy: to himself This is a real bummer. I have to walk in this heat and those sodding twins seem nowhere in sight. Nor does Anna... Ann...or whatever that Weasley's name is.

Suddenly, he spots a fully-grown girl with red hair standing near a huge van.

Malfoy: to the girl, shouting Weasley. Hey, Weasley. Running up towards the girl Hey, Weasley!

The girl whips out her wand and performs Wingardium Leviosa on Malfoy

Malfoy: screaming Let me down!

Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny and Luna turn up with the twins

Ron: Whoa! Malfoy, what are you doing up there?

Malfoy: Don't ask me. Ask your sister.

Ron: Ginny, why did you levitate Malfoy?

Malfoy: Not that sister, the other one.

Fred: Okay, Georgina, why--- cut off by Malfoy

Malfoy: No, you gits. Points to the unidentified redhead girl Ask her.

Fred: to the unidentified girl Why did you perform Wingardium Leviosa on Malfoy. Not that I'm complaining...

Unidentified Red-haired Object: letting Malfoy down He called me a Weasel.

Malfoy: No. I called you a Weasley.

Unidentified Red-haired Object: What's a Weasley?

Malfoy: Almost everything that walks, talks, dresses shabbily, performs magic and has red hair. gets four angry glares No offence meant, of course.

Ginny: The Weasleys are a family. My family. to Malfoy Why were you calling her a Weasley, Draco?

Malfoy: Isn't she your cousin?

All Weasleys: No.

Fred: Anne isn't coming now. Aunt Geraldine doesn't want her to leave home under the present conditions of the village.

Malfoy: Oh. But I thought...you know... red hair...never mind. To the unidentified girl Sorry, I mistook you for their sister...ummm...

Unidentified Red-haired Object: Daphne. Daphne Blake.

Malfoy: Yeah. Sorry to mistake you for someone else, Daphne.

Luna: Are you the same Daphne Blake, like in Daphne Blake of Mystery Inc.?

Unidentified Red-haired Object Now Identified As Daphne: Yeah.

Ron: Bloody hell!

Ginny: Then how could you levitate Draco?

Daphne: Witches can do magic.

Luna: wow! You mean you are not a Muggle?

Daphne: No, none of us are. We are all wizards and witches. How else, do you suppose, can four teenagers and a dog solve such baffling mysteries? Even Scooby is a magical animal. That's why he talks. Hey, I still haven't introduced you all to the others. Shouting Hey, Freddie, Velma, Shag, Scoob - come on out, guys!

A handsome blonde guy and a short, bespeckled girl walk out of the van. The boy looks like he's just woken up and the girl looks as if she's just been distracted from some important work.

Blonde Guy: Yeah, Daph?

Daphne: Fred, these kids are also wizards (and witches). Anne, they have seen our cartoons.

Fred: Nice to meet you all. I'm Fred.

Fred (Weasley): I'm Fred too.

Fred (Detective): Oh. This will be very confusing. General Store, could you start mentioning me as 'Freddie' from now on? Thank you.

Short Girl: Hello. I'm Velma.

Freddie: Yeah. She's the real brain. She could solve all the mysteries on her own but we still are in the group to make it look good. Gets an angry glare from Velma Sorry, couldn't resist it.

Daphne: Well, where are Shaggy and Scooby?

As if on cue, the said characters appear from inside the van

Shaggy: Hi, Freddie, Velma, Daphne and...and...and the rest of you guys.

Scooby: Reah, ri!

Daphne: Guys, this is Shaggy and Scooby. By the way, you all haven't told us who you are.

Ginny: I'm Ginny.

Ron: I'm her brother, Ron.

Harry: I'm Harry.

Freddie: Obviously.

Velma: With the scar and all.

Daphne: I thought so, too.

Freddie: What, Daphne, you thought? I didn't know you could think. Gets a this-glare-is-so-cold-that-you'll-freeze glare from Daphne. Okay, sorry.

Luna: I'm Luna.

Malfoy: And I'm Malfoy, Draco Malfoy.

Ron snickers.

Malfoy: You think my name is funny, do you? Well, no ---

Hermione: clearing her throat I think you both went through this in your first year already.

Ginny: Well, could you tell us how far you've got on this case?

Velma: We know for sure that it's the work of a wizard. The security was too tight for Muggles to break but not for a wizard in an Invisibility Cloak. We suspect the Dark Lord but we know that he won't risk coming out here on his own, so probably one of his Death Eaters did the dirty work. to Malfoy Did you say your name was Malfoy?

Malfoy: Yeah, Draco Malfoy.

Velma: Are you related to Lucius Malfoy, by any chance?

Malfoy: Yes, I'm his son. Why do you ask?

Velma: in a grave tone Well, you should know that your father is one of our top suspects.

Malfoy: I reckoned so.

Velma: Aren't you feeling sad about the fact that your dad might be arrested if proven guilty?

Malfoy: No, I'm used his frequent arrests. Every time, some Death Eater or the other bribes Fudge and gets Dad out. I'd rather that he stays in jail. HE's not my favourite person, you know.

Freddie: In that case, you won't mind doing a bit of spy work for us, would you?

Malfoy: Spy work?

Freddie: You know, casually ask your father about the Stone and then come and tell us what he said.

Malfoy: Alright. I'll do that. I'm confident that my knowledge would be useful.

Ron: That'll be the day!


	3. Chapter 3

**General Store: Folks, from now on Draco Malfoy will be mentioned as 'Draco' instead of 'Malfoy' as it'll cause confusion since his father (who is also a Malfoy, incidentally) comes into the story at this point.**

**Scene 6: The Malfoy Mansion.**

Draco: Hi, Dad. What are you doing?

Lucius: Collecting nuts. Can't you see?

Draco: Nuts? I didn't know you liked nuts.

Lucius: I do not like nuts. Didn't you ever notice that I'm not too fond of you?

**General Store: For the information of the audience, the previous dialogue spoken by Lucius was a joke. So laugh. Ha ha.**

Lucius: Ha ha. Now can we get on with the story, General? Thank you.

Draco: clearing his throat Dad, why are you collecting nuts if you don't like them?

Lucius: For Master, of course, Draco.

Draco: You mean the Dark Lord likes eating nuts?

Lucius: Yes, and you are no one to question his likes and dislikes.

Draco: Yes, Dad. By the way, how about going down to the dig this evening?

Lucius: I'm busy this evening, Draco. I have to collect more nuts for Master and then go and give them to him tonight. Why do you want to go there, anyway?

Draco: I just wanted to know the latest news about the Stone.

Lucius: Why go there when the answer is here? takes out a pretty looking blue stone from his pocket Here, this is your stone.

Draco: Dad! You stole it. You actually stole it! If you must know, that's another visit to Azkaban for you.

Lucius: Fortunately, my visits there are always short-lived and anyway, Master needs it and you know my favorite slogan, don't you?

Draco: Snowy Owls Have Delicate Stomachs?

Lucius: No! Anything For Master. I'm going to give him the Stone when I go to his cave tonight with his nuts.

Draco: Cave?

Lucius: Master's in hiding. You don't expect him to live at the Leaky Cauldron, do you?

Draco: Where is this cave?

Lucius: Do you remember the cave we went to last summer? It's the same one.

Draco: Oh! Well then, have a nice time tonight.

**Scene 7: The Burrow. Draco has just arrived through the Floo network and is emerging out of the kitchen fireplace. Ron is at the table, eating a sandwich.**

Draco: Hey, Weasley. I've got some news about the Stone.

Ron: What?

Draco: Dad's got it and he's going to give it to You-Know-Who. He even told me that You-Know-Who is going to use it tonight.

Ron: Holy Hufflepuffs! We better do something fast.

Draco: Let's round up everyone and go to the detectives. They'll have some plan.

**Scene 8: All the members of Mystery Inc. are standing outside the Mystery Machine. Harry and the gang approach them.**

Harry: Hey, guys. Malfoy's got some news about the Stone.

Draco: Yeah. Dad's got it. He stole it for You-Know-Who and he's going to give it to him tonight.

Velma: Jinkeys! Did he tell you when the Dark Lord's going to use it?

Draco: Tonight itself.

Freddie: Then we have to hurry. Does anyone know where he's hiding?

Draco: Yeah. I know the way by heart. Follow me, everyone.

Ron: I was dreading the day when I'll have to do such a thing.

**Scene 9: The whole team is standing outside a huge cave.**

Draco: This is the cave he's in.

Hermione: We'll need to use our wands. Wouldn't that be counted as breaking Ministry laws for underage magic? We could be expelled, you know.

Ron: Wouldn't you rather be expelled in a somewhat peaceful world than stay at Hogwarts with You-Know-Who at power?

Hermione: I agree. Okay then. CHARGE!

They break into the cave. Death Eaters and nuts are visible every where. There are, in all, 13 Death Eaters, all wearing masks who start hexing and cursing everyone as soon as they see them.

Death Eater-1: at Harry Stupefy!

Harry ducks and the spell hits Shaggy, who collapses and becomes a heap on the floor.

Harry: at Death Eater-1 Expelliarmus! catches the Death Eater's wand and using his own wand, cures Shaggy with the Ennervate spell.

Death Eater-2: at Hermione Expelliarmus! Hermione's wand lands at his feet

Ron, Ginny and Luna: together, at Death Eater-2 Stupefy!

Death Eater-2 falls unconscious and starts bleeding from the nose and mouth. Hermione grabs her wand back.

Death Eater-3: to Draco who's standing beside a huge cabinet Well, well Young Malfoy. Looks like you've betrayed your father's trust, haven't you? In that case, he won't mind me doing this...Avada Kedavra!

Draco hides behind the cabinet and the whole cabinet is blasted to bits and Malfoy faints.

Death Eater-4: to Death Eater-3, sounding a lot like Lucius Malfoy Why did you do that? Do you know what could've happened if he didn't hide behind that ruddy cabinet full of nuts?

Death Eater-3: Just playing around, Lucius. I knew he wouldn't die. This is a G-Rated fic. General Store wouldn't permit extreme violence.

Lucius revives his son

Death Eater-4 (Lucius Malfoy): to Draco Draco, you betrayed me. You told them and now you've come to deprive Master of the Stone.

Ron: Wow, Mr. Malfoy. You're really intelligent. It's hard to believe that you're related to this son of yours.

Lucius: Yeah, whatever. Now, I'll put a stop to all your interference. Stupe--- is cut off by a number of voices

Freddie, Harry, Hermione, Daphne and Luna: together, at Lucius Stupefy!

Lucius collapses and his condition becomes worse than Death Eater-2

Ron: Thanks.

Hermione: to Draco I don't like leaving your Dad in that condition.

Draco: I don't have any problems but you can help him if you want to.

Hermione heals Lucius a bit but still leaves him unconscious

Death Eater-5: at George Expelliarmus! catches George's wand and smiles smugly

Fred: to Death Eater-5 Impedimenta!

Death Eater-5 freezes. George takes his wand back.

Fred: This is fun, Georgina. Try it.

**General Store: From this point onwards, the results of the hexes, curses and jinxes will not be mentioned since the audience obviously knows it by now. If they don't, then there is a possibility that they are related to Luna Lovegood.**

George: at Death Eater-6 Impedimenta!

Fred: at Death Eater-7 Impedimenta!

George: at Death Eater-8 Impedimenta!

Fred: at Death Eater-9 Impedimenta!

Death Eater-10 and Death Eater-11 act smartly by hiding behind a gargoyle to avoid freezing due to the next curses that the twins were planning to cast.

Ginny: at Death Eater-10, from behind him Expelliarmus!

Luna: at Death Eater-11, also from behind Stupefy!

Fred: at Death Eater-12 Impedimenta!

George: at Death Eater-13 Impedimenta!

Fred: at Death Eater-14 Impedimenta!

George: Hey, General Store, I thought you said that there were only 13 Death Eaters.

**General Store: Yes, I did, didn't I? Sorry, Fred, that last Impedimenta of yours can't be used.**

Fred: That's all right.

And so, after disarming, stunning and (in the twins' case) freezing all the Death Eaters, our heroes proceed to the Inner Cave. There is a chair facing the wall opposite them and next to this chair is a bowl full of nuts.

Voice From The Chair: Ah, Lucius! You are back with more nuts.

The chair turns around, revealing a skinny, white creature. Everyone gasps.

Ron: Dobby?

Chair-Creature: No, silly boy. I'm Lord Voldemort. General Store, I told you I look silly but no, you just have to make me look like a house-elf.

**General Store: You look better than you usually look, Voldy.**

Voldemort: Whatever. looks around Where's Lucius? What are you all doing here? grabs some nuts from his bowl have some nuts...

Draco: No thanks. I already have one standing next to me. points to Ron

Daphne: We are here to fight you just like Harry does at the end of every Harry Potter book. We know of your evil scheme to rule the world using the Sorcerer's Stone and we're going to stop you.

Voldemort: I thought these three points to Harry, Ron and Hermione already stopped me from doing that in their first year at Hogwarts.

Freddie: We are talking about the second Sorcerer's Stone. The one you've stolen.

Voldemort: Oh, you mean this little thing. Takes out the famous Stone from his pocket

Everyone Else: Yes.

Voldemort: This is no Sorcerer's Stone.

Harry: Don't try to fool us. Give it here.

Voldemort: By all means, take it Potter. It's useless.

Hermione: Useless? Doesn't it produce the Elixir of Life?

Voldemort: No. I told you already, it's not a Sorcerer's Stone. You shouldn't believe every silly rumour you hear about it. Its just an extra hard stone, good for breaking nuts with.

Draco: Nuts?

Voldemort: That's why I wanted it. Lucius always brings nuts that are too hard for me to break with normal stones. I heard that some Muggles had found an ancient stone. So, I thought any stone this small which could retain it's hardness all those years could easily be strong enough to break the extra-hard nuts Lucius brings. But when I tested it today, I realized I was wrong. So, you all can take it if you want to. As it is, I'm trying to get out of this craze I have for nuts. I love eating them. You might not have noticed it.

Ron: Believe me. We did notice.

Daphne: taking the Stone from Voldemort Right, then. Well, another case, successfully solved by Mystery Inc.

Freddie: Well, I don't think it was really 'solved' by Mystery Inc., you know.

Daphne: Whatever.

**General Store: clearing his throat So, with that we come to the end of another --- cut off by Shaggy**

Shaggy: Aren't you forgetting something?

**General Store: What?**

Fred: Scooby has to say his name.

**General Store: Why?**

Velma: He does so at the end of every Scooby Doo episode.

**General Store: Okay, go ahead.**

Scooby: Scooby Dooby Dooooooo

**General Store: With that, we come to the end of another one of The Very Pointless and Hopefully Humorous Stories of Harry Potter. If this Very Pointless and Hopefully Humorous Stories of Harry Potter gets a good number of reviews, I might join you all again for another story. Till then, BYE...marches off**


End file.
